User blog:SiRenfield/TTGOMC Review: Anastasia'a Magical Wish Part 1

And this is why I made this blog =_=.

To get the artwork out of the way (we'll discard the fact that you can tell this user is very young just by the "Puella Magi" artwork)





While Christine remains consistent in appearance, take a look at Stacey and try to tell me that they are the same person.





Stacey Komosume
"Stacey is a Puella Magi. She is a girl from a world where 25% of all Puella Magi live (thus she is Puelian) and she came to Earth in order to fight witches "

Since when was there such thing as "Puelian". Heck, the term Puella Magi itself is only used in the English subs and only said once in Rebellion. Also ,while Itzil confirms that there are Magical Girls that aren't from Earth, what;s this about "a world where a quarter of all Magical Girls live"?

Oh ,but you are going to LOVE this wish

"Because of her wish, whenever she fights a witch, she always wins, until I Cannot Take It Any Longer".

Really? Really?! Look I know Magical Girls can wish for whatever they want as long as the circumstances fit and because of this the Witch AUTOMATICALLY LOSES once they fight ,but she only stops after becoming one. Now to be fair ,that is the only probable reason she can become one ,but if you aren't convinced this charcther is a Mary Sue yet, I suggest you go check out the many Mary Sue tests online.

Christine Hibi
''Christine is Stacey's best friend. She is a Puella Magi, but also human.''

Did we even watch the same show?! Once you make a contract your soul is trapped in a jar, so you're technically undead. Heck, in one episode Homura said that she's not human anymore!

"Because of her wish, she knows about the Puella Magi world, but she doesn't tell Stacey!"



This could be just a similiar thing Madoka experienced ,but you just said that both of them come from a world where a quarter of every Magical Girl ever live! How does this make any sense!

"It's possible that Christine's mother is a Puella Magi who has turned into a witch."

Umm I know this is pointless ,but unless she was on "16 and Pregeant" how did she become a mother before turning into a Witch? Magical Girls, don't usually live long.

Courtney Kyandoru
"Courtney is a Puella Magi. She usually prefers fighting all by herself (which she has done for over a year now), but thanks to Christine's wish, she ends up teaming up with Stacey and Christine."

Okay so far, this just seems like an anti-Sue ,but the true beauty lies in the info box

"Contract Wish:  That Puella Magis would eventually open their eyes to Kyubey's tricks (but she just stated that she wanted Puella Magis to realize the truth)"



Now onto the "fan fic" itself
You might notice that fan fic is in quotation marks. Well that's because she did a similiar thing I did when I was on the Phineas and Ferb fanon wiki and just write faux-episode pages where the story is told in summaries. So now let's get pass the facepalming charcther descriptions and onto the fan fic...and the bull***ttery that ensues. For time purposes we'll only discuss "Season 1" and save "Season 2" in another post.

A Puella Magi Girl from a Puella Magi World (Season 1 ,Episode 1)
"Anastasia Komusome, a.k.a. Stacey, who is a Puelian, leaves her world of Puella Magi to go to Earth to fight witches. She meets Christine Hibi, a human, who secretly knows about her world."

Okay, sorry about that. I didn't realize that Stacey is Puelian and Christine is an Earthling....because you said in Stacey's description that both of them come from "Puelia"!

"A Puella Magi, Jamie, becomes defeated by a witch, Tiana, and becomes one herself. Luckily, Stacey defeats both of them."

Oh goody, Red Shirts! Also the terrible grammar in that sentence doesn;t help

"However, Christine was watching. When she transforms back into her human form, Stacey admits to her she's a Puella Magi."

Also the episodes have transcripts that make the average Hetalia episode look like John Adams. I'm only gonna talk about them when they explain stuff in there, but the dialouge is just attrocious and unnatural, having charcthers say things outloud as opposed to talking like real people. It doesn't even match the tone of PMMM since there are actions like "*chibi crying face*" that makes me think more of Teen Titans.

Say What Now? (Season 1, Episode 1)


"Christine learns of Stacey being a Puella Magi, and Kyubey appears. He asks Christine if she wants to become one, and she says yes, "

OMG, I just love how she immeditaly accepted the contract considering how she knows all about Magical Girls and even just witness two die/become a witch right in front of here. It's even funnier when Stacey just says her wish out loud like this:

"Stacey: I wished to never lose fights! Christine-chan, what is yours?"

100% unnatural dialouge at it's finest, my friends!

"The next day, Stacey is walking to school, when Christine runs up to her, exclaiming about her becoming a Puella Magi...."

LET ME LOUDLY ANNOUNCE THAT WE'RE PUELLA MAGIS WHERE EVERYONE CAN HEAR US!

"and saying she has suddenly taken a big liking to her. That night, the two fight a witch named Willa, and win."

Of course they do, Stacey is so perfect desu~!

"The next day, Sayaka Miki attacks Stacey, thinking she's a witch, until Christine corrects her. Sayaka apologizes, and agrees to help them sometime."

How does that even work? It's not like the manga where false witches exist. Also considering how all the canon charcthers are here, when does this even take place?

Courney Appears (Season 1, Episode 3)
"Thanks to Christine's wish, Courtney Kyandoru, a Puella Magi who usually prefers fighting alone, teams up with Stacey and Christine."

and to quote the transcript:

"Courtney: Anyway, I am a Puella Magi. I usually work alone, but all of a sudden, I felt like allying with you two."

Yes, you seriously read that correctly, she teams up with them...JUST BECAUSE!

"Stacey recongnizes her, despite the fact that Courtney is not a Puelian. Later, Kyubey follows Courtney around, trying to know what she meant in her wish by "the truth". She says to leave her alone, and he leaves. That was when Stacey came into her apartment, realizing the fact she lives alone. Courtney secretly tells her that she wished that Puella Magis would open their eyes to the fact Kyubey had tricked them, and instead of telling Kyubey the "tricked" part, she just stated she wanted Puella Magi to realize "the truth"."

Well I certainly don't how they don't see the truth!

Forever More (Season 1, Episode 4)
"Courtney finishes explaining to Stacey why she is a Puella Magi. Later, Stacey flies up in the air while she, Christine, Sayaka and Courtney are fighting a witch named Chiyoko, and she gets scared"

I thought all Witches had Western names. And yeah, I plan on doing the same thing in my own fan fic (I won't go into the details for now due to spoilers), but at least I give a logical reason for it. And speaking of which, WHY IS STACEY SCARED?! She literally defeats them just by walking in. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if the ending has her becoming God instead of Madoka just be poking Walpurgisnacht! Furthermore, Sayaka clearly said in Episode 5 that she's working alone! Again, when does this take place?!

"The next day, Madoka Kaname appears and tries to help Stacey overcome her fear of heights, but it's no use."

Well this came out of nowehere. And again: WHEN DOES THIS TAKE PLACE?! You know what, that's the last time I'm gonna ask that since she is screwing canon so hard that it produced it's own seperate universe

"But Stacey does overcome her fear when she and Madoka, who has become her ally, fight another witch named Bianca. Kyubey becomes satisfied while he watches the fight, but Courtney strangles him, saying that all of this is his fault."

Dude, I hate Kyubey as much as the next fan ,but why is she strangling him?! They won and nobody died!

I Can't Trust him (Season 1, Episode 5)
"1 year after Stacey overcame her fear of heights, she and Courtney are 16, Christine's 17, and Madoka, Sayaka, Homura, Mami and Kyoko are 20."

Okay the answer is that this takes place at least six years after PMMM.....

Is this after Rebellion, what the ***k is going on?! This is probably the worst canon-(word deleted due to conotations that are strong) I have ever seen! Oh and the use of numberals instead of words doesn't help.

"Stacey also learns, after witnessing Kyoko becoming a witch, that she really can't trust Kyubey, and asks him to leave her alone. But Kyubey refuses, as he wants to witness the defeat of Kyoko as a witch."

Wait so witnessing she ignored the two girls turn into Witches ,but Kyoko turning into Ophelia turned her onto the fact that maybe becoming a Puella Magi might be a bad idea!

"Stacey, Christine, Courtney, Madoka, Sayaka, Homura and Mami, all teamed up, prepare for the fight against Kyoko, which, as they planned, would be their "final battle"."

Bad grammar aside, I'm at leats legitametly concerned about hwo "final battle" is in quotes.

The Last Piece of the Heart (Season 1, Episode 6; Season Finale)
"Stacey Komusome, Christine Hibi, Courtney Kyandoru, Madoka Kaname, Sayaka Miki, Homura Akemi and Mami Tomoe fight Kyoko Sakura, who has recently become a witch. Christina Hibi, Christine's little sister, witnesses the battle and realizes that their mother was a Puella Magi, as well. "

First of all, are we in Pete and Pete? Secondly, how does Christine battling make the sister realize that their mom was a Magical Girl?!

"The team of Puella Magi eventually defeat Kyoko, but Sayaka grieves over her death. Eventually, instead of a Greif Seed, they find a reborn Kyoko (and I mean, reborn as a human baby)"



While I'm happy Kyoko's alive....THAT'S NOT HOW WITCHES WORK! Even in Episode 9, Kyoko said "maybe" when talking about how Sayaka's Soul Gem might pop out as opposed to a Grief Seed, suggesting that it's only a theory! How did this even happe...wait a second.

Graticious Japanese (in the transcripts they use honorifics), unrelatically over-powered, canon-altering, wants to alter the ending to make it happy! OMG, they made Niji on accident!

No, just kidding. Though in all seriousness, this fan fic is basically everything wrong with the average Madoka Mary Sue and everything Niji personifies. I can go on all day ,but we need to wrap up Part 1 so here's the serious jist of it. (No memes, no all-caps and bold to stimulate the Nostalgia Critic's yelling, just a serious analysis on Bad Madoka OCs. Warning: Might contain possible spoilers for PMMSM)

Basically my biggest pet peeve with these OCs is that they play all the Magical Girl tropes completely and utterly straight. And while Madoka is apparently not a deconstruction according to the writer, (I say apparently since I can't find the citations for what JesuOtaku said in her review) it's still a Dark Fantasy that ends in tragedy. Aside from a cartoonishly tragic past ,these girls don't experience sadness unless they and/or their friends dies or becomes a Witch. I'd go into more detail ,but we need to finish this review.

"and she was given to Homura, who decides to make sure that Kyubey nor any other Incubator ever contracts with her again (P.S. Kyubey ran away and was never seen again)."

..wh..What? What?! WHAT?! '''WHAT?! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA........................'''



Update (10/15/2014): I'm terribly sorry, I apparently skimmed over Christine's wish. It was to ally with any Puella Magi. That explains why Courtney teamed up with her. Also in hindsight I should've been paying more attention since it is explained in Episode 3. But still, there's a lot of more plot holes in this mess.